For the One who gives breath...

Today, first Saturday after Thanksgiving, as tradition holds, we headed to the tree farm.  It isn't always the same one...the tree farm, but it's always a farm and never a lot, a tree lot that is.

The drive was winding and swerving through the hills of North Plains, several miles from where we lived.  Forests and fields filled these soft farmlands with familiar comfort and majestic awe.  I always love this drive and love the fact that its only minutes from our home, close enough to regard it as home.

The air was stiff with chill and we were still recovering from below freezing temps from the days prior.  We finally landed to our destination and all filed out with hand saw and bundles of coats, jackets, and hats.

But this particular day, I wondered if I had bundled them tightly enough.  The poles seemed to squeeze more tightly upon us, and I realized why I never got into snow skiing.  By the way, I love to water ski and basically "popped" up upon my first try...at least that's what I remember.  But I wondered if I ever would take up snow skiing...ahh, I'm reminded now.

And on this particular day, Gabriel skipped along the path and then stopped short in his step.  He searched around and realized the air around him had seemed a bit lower and a bit heavier than he remembered.  And he noticed something he had never noticed before.

Then I giggled to myself as I marveled over his marvel.  In his pause, Gabriel gasped and blew out...gasped and blew out...then wide eyes watched what floated gently from between his lips.  Soft puffs of white streamed sweetly and dissipated magically away.

Ahh...Gabriel had discovered his breath.  And, I, in that moment, gave thanks for the One who gave him his very breath.

.

Runaway

Well, I almost did, but I didn't, but I threatened to...


Ok, I threatened to run away tonight.  Yes, run away.  No, I'm not a feisty, rebellious teen bucking rules, order, and everything "parent".  I'm a 41 year old  SAHM.(Stay at home mommy)  No, I'm not hormonal, at least not right now.  And, no, I'm not in any danger, threat, or duress.  I've just had it to here. (pointing my arms above my head)...


Ok, I realize my threat was idle, but it was there.  I just needed a break...and a girl needs a little appreciation.


See, I can talk about it right now because my wise and peace-making husband can diffuse any of my myriad of emotions.


So, here's what happened...


I've got it all planned out.  By the way, I'm a planner, an organizer, and my pantries and linen closet are the organization gestapo.   That gives you a flavor of the OCD tendencies I've prayed, agonized, and wrestled with.  And, now I've actually come to terms with this shortcoming and have embraced it with zeal...


So, in character, I've decided to plan Advent events for the family for the next month.  The first one began today.  With tradition, we loaded the Suburban (that doesn't seem big enough for my brood of boys) with matching button down shirts, cameras (three of them), tripods, snacks, books, balls, and boys.  Off to the Pittock Mansion for our annual Christmas picture session in picturesque Pittock nestled in the Northwest valley with the winding Willamette below.   Ahh, doesn't that sound so Norman Rockwell?


Little did I know...with all that we brought, we also tucked in some grumble, complaint, and nag.


"Mommy, are we done yet?"


"How long will this take?"


"I don't look good in this shirt!"  "I'm hungry!!"(By the way, they're always hungry; they're boys.)


"My feet hurt!"  "My nose itches."  "But we just took 30 pictures."  "Do I have to?"


So, here we are taking happy? pictures....you get the picture.  If you have a household of children, you've probably experienced a scene like ours.  If not, tell me how you do it:)


So, at the end of our jaunt, I calmly and stoically announced to my dear, sympathetic husband that I was running away.


"Running away?" he asked.  "From what?"


"Oh, my love, I think you know."


We bantered back and forth about the pros and cons of me running away.  He finally convinced me that I could, if I wanted to...


...and so I did.  I ran away for the night...into the other room, my office.


I had a lovely evening.   And reflected on the sweet moments we had at Pittock tonight.


I love my boys, my husband...and wouldn't dream of being anywhere else right now but home.





No other place, but home

Soli Deo Gloria...

Thanksgiving #40 Thanksgiving Day


               Soli Deo Gloria...For the glory of God, His Glory Alone.  I am humbled, awed, and grateful.

"Enter the Lord's gates with Thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and Praise His name. For the Lord is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues through all generations."  Psalm 100:4-5

For life that beats within...

Thanksgiving #39 Thanksgiving Day

           One of the greatest honors man or more specific...woman bears is the honor of participating in God's mightiest and marvelous miracle...that of bearing new life.  I can't help but marvel tonight when I saw Grace, my beautiful sister-in-law, bear that little life within her tiny frame.  A separate heart and mind that beats and thinks apart from her, the very one who carries her.  That's right, that little one is a precious baby girl.  She'll arrive and make her debut in January.  How amazing is God' amazement, how marvelous His marvel.  I'm grateful for the life that beats within Grace.

For the hope of eternity...

Thanksgiving #38 Thanksgiving Day

                Have I stood in the presence of Light to only see the depravity of my dark?  Have I seen truth in its fullness to sense its stark contrast from lie?  Have you felt the depth of another's care against the depth of being alone?  It's these deep contrasts that allow us to sense what life is felt on this side of heaven.  For as long as we walk on this side of heaven we will always have the contrast of being on this side of heaven...until one day we will fully know the fullness of residing within.  I am grateful for the hope of eternity that rests only within the ONE that gives it.

For best buddies in baby and brother...

Thanksgiving #37 Thanksgiving Day

             Eats and more eats, feating and more feasting...and yes, fellowship and drawing close to those near and dear to you.  I'm in the kitchen deep in preparation for our Thanksgiving feast... confidant and secure in knowing and seeing my youngest confidant and secure in the care of our Sweet Sam.  He always was and is nurturing, patient, kind, and protective over his lil' brother G.  He follows his baby brother around like a pama bear over his cub.  He plays and entertains him with a daddy's love.  If I've never uttered a word of thanks for this sweetness between two brothers, I've felt it and known it from the very beginning of their beginning.  Oh, dear Jesus, I am grateful You gave best friends in the same family.

For the example of the 12 year old Jesus....

Thanksgiving #36

                 Raising a teen is not the easiest.  Yet with its challenge and hurdles, it has to be one of the most rewarding and blessed times of parenting.  You see the culmination of heart and effort and nurture in the makings of this young boy through his speech and deeds.  Oh, yes, he challenges and bucks and may even gripe a bit here and there, but he is beginning to test his wings.  He wasn't meant for flight on his parents' wings but his own.  Getting from here to there is filled with stretching, growth pains, and sometimes heart ache.

I'm so grateful for the example that Jesus left when he started marking his destiny, his own flight when He was only 12 years old.  At that time, He went to Jerusalem to observe the Passover Feast with His parents, as He did each year prior.  When it was time to leave, He stayed behind.  When Joseph, his earthly father, and Mary, his mother, came back to search for him.  He reminded them that shouldn't He be found in His Father's house.

But isn't Joseph His father?  Of coarse, Jesus in that moment, was marking his departure from his parents, yet still with grace, love, and honor for His parents.  Jesus claimed to be in His Father's house, yet knowing his earthly father to be Joseph.  Joseph and Mary might have been hurt at Jesus' response, but they knew He was beginning His flight for his own ministry on earth.

Just as my son has...

As He stakes out to claim what is his...his own walk, his own story...his own flight...as a mommy I'll commit to continue to stand beside and beneath him.  But now, he must go before me...

He's taking flight.  I'll love him all the while.  I'm grateful for the example our Lord left us to encourage hope during this time of parenting.

For warming shelters in stretches of cold...

Thanksgiving #35

                  21...that's the number my car thermometer read last night.  My children watch excitedly as the the number fell from 41 (being inside the garage) down 20 more.  Brrr.... understatement.  I think that many of us can say that we are very grateful for the warmth of shelter and roof over from the elements outside...a kind of a blessing that many of us may take for granted, or at least I have.  No, today, I am grateful for the many ministries that touch the hurting and downtrodden.  Imago Dei Community, Portland Rescue Mission, Union Gospel Mission, and...Rolling Hills Community Church.  These faith communities use their resources and blessings to provide for the Portland poor...to provide warmth and shelter...food and drink...hope and light...to a watching and desperate world who so needs the light and warmth of Christ.
I am grateful for these communities...for warming shelters in stretches of cold.

For the marvel in the first few fall of flakes...

Thanksgiving #34

                The night quieted down and the sky drew closer and blacker.  It had filled with clouds heavier and fuller than typical.  Then when things were already quiet, it drew even more...and it began.  The first few measures of soft, falling flakes crescendoed into an orchestra of a sky-filled white.  It sounded magnificently quiet and breath-taking.  I've seen it before and every year, but each time I do, it holds my breath captive.

The boys rushed out to crunch the first layer and roll their bodies in it's soft, cool blanket.  You would have thought that they've never seen anything like it.

Just the day before, I was feeling discouraged that I don't believe I've taught my children the blessing of how to marvel.  Tonight, I didn't have to...they knew exactly how to upon the first sight of marvel.

Grateful for the first sight of marvel...He is marvelous and wonderful.  The first few fall of flakes...

For Operation Christmas Blessing...

Thanksgiving #33

              Operation Christmas Child...Christmas boxes...have you heard of such a thing?  It's international...it's global...it's the body of Christ reaching all over the world.  8 million children received shoe boxes last year.  130 different impoverished countries all over the world have been touched by Operation Christmas Child.

For what?  To demonstrate God's love in a tangible way to needy children around the world, and together with the local church worldwide, to share the Good News of Jesus Christ.

Yesterday after church, my family and I picked up and dropped off 69 Christmas boxes to their drop off site.  We dropped off 43 boxes on Friday night...that makes over a hundred boxes.

One of those boxes if not more may end up in my family's country - the Philippines.  What a blessing to have been a part of this mission.

Soli Deo Gloria!

To Him be all the glory!

                            

For our church body...

Thanksgiving #32

                 Life is chaotic, bordering mayhem, and challenged-filled...but it is also rich of blessing, treasure, and all that we cherish...our family.  As we travel our day to day, week to week, I can safely say that life is not always consistent and routine.  In fact, it is far from it.  I often long for the anchor of that what is routine and regular but find that some periods of time are intended to be endured in upheaval and shake-up.  Oh, but you can still be content in any circumstance or even choose to joy in all situations.  I do try.

But one thing that I can count on and remains constant and regular in our week to week...

Our church family!

The constant of familiar faces, gracious greetings, warm embraces...right there in the body of Rolling Hills Community Church.  It's all because God is there, and He is the constant that anchors our lives.

He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  He is the great I AM!

God through His church body anchors our week and our direction even through upheaval...God's presence and light through each one of them within the body...each of those we call family at Rolling Hills Community Church.

I'm grateful for God through our church family of Rolling Hills Community Church.

            

For my Pastor's wife...

Thanksgiving #31

              My Pastor's wife asked me...and three of my mentors, Judy, Cheryl, and Rita, to join her in a study...Radical by David Platt.  I've heard his sermons and even joined an online discussion group over his sermons.  I was challenged beyond measure and often irritated and uncomfortable.  I hated his radical thoughts and his unconventional practices and agreed with every single one of them at the same time.  He teaches and practices a walk not too far from those of the Franciscan Order of St. Francis of Assisi.  Francis was born of wealthy parents and forsaked all that he was given for a life in poverty with Christ.  I'm nervous and agitated about this study but excited and elated at the same time.  I'm grateful that Kathy invited me and I'm grateful for my Pastor's wife.



By the way, isn't my Pastor's wife so beautiful?  She is inside and out.

For grace that abounds...

Thanksgiving #30

                I sometimes can't believe how often and how big I blunder...how much I can offend and how many transgressions whether purposed or inadvertent...and sadly, how many people I may hurt along the way...including those I love the most.  Oh dear, my flesh seems to war against me and within me.  This life in the flesh astounds, confuses, and sometimes paralyzes me.

But if life is walked in the Spirit instead of the flesh God is glorified and blessing abounds.  He has taught me this week through my Bible study that the fall and captivity of His people allowed Him to demonstrate His redemption and grace. (See Isaiah 13-14)  Even ast my flesh astounds, His grace and redemption abounds.  And I am grateful for His graceful, redemptive Hand on my life.

For HIS TRUTH!!

Thanksgiving #29

                 Last night we went out to celebrate Daniel's birthday over dinner.  Dad, mom, Uncle Jason (the boys' uncle, my brother-not my uncle), husband, and our boys all met at the Italian house-Olive Garden.  We had about a half hour wait.  So I always bring something to read to tie the time over.  My mom brought her Bible study material and took it out to review with me.  She had attended the class earlier that afternoon "How to share the Gospel" at Bible Study Fellowship, otherwise known as BSF.  She excitedly recapped the key points and enthusiastically reviewed the four truths of sharing the Gospel.  I asked her if she had ever heard these truths before, and she looked at me earnestly and shook her head no.  She had attended church since she was a little girl.  In fact, my grandfather started and pastored the church in their bario in Nueva Vizcaya.  And when we moved here to Portland in 1976, we attended the United Methodist Church of Beaverton.

And sadly, they never taught the truth...the Gospel...the Good News.

Four walls with a roof and a cross in its center do not make a church.  His Holy Spirit and His teaching and His replication in others...that makes His church.

For the first time, November 19th, my mother heard the Gospel.  She heard the truth of our Lord Jesus Christ and she believed for the first time.  I am grateful for God's truth that is mighty to save!!

By the way, my mom is now witnessing to a young Native American girl, Audrey, in the workplace...working to share the Gospel.

For my mom and dad...

Thanksgiving #28

                 Every Tuesday I take the "middles" Samuel and D to a homeschool group called Classical Conversations, where they grow and learn in disciplines such as geography, science, math, history, english, and art.  And every Tuesday, my mom and dad come over to take care of baby G.  Every Tuesday baby G takes a much earlier nap than I would prefer, which forces him to take two naps instead of one, which by the end of the day he ends up going to bed later than I would prefer.  Every Tuesday baby G eats foods I would not prefer and makes a mess that I would rather he not make.  But every Tuesday baby G is cared and nurtured and held lovingly by my mom and dad for the entire time we are gone...I wouldn't trade my every Tuesday for the world.  I'm grateful for my mom and dad.

For Sweet Darlin' D...

Thanksgiving #27

                  Seven turns around the sun today (and this last one flew like a breath) when they laid my darlin' baby D in my arms.  I really think that he came out smiling, and he's been beaming ever since.  He chose Millers, the restaurant with the windmill and covered wagon, as our breakfast house. It's always got to be unique and memorable with Daniel.  The boys ate cinnamon rolls and bacon...argh...but the sweet savory taste ministered to them like you wouldn't believe.  Then we headed to the theater for some super hero fun with Megamind in Metrocity, toy shopping, and "eats" Italian style at Olive Garden.  Punctuated our evening with "Happy Birthday" over cones of ice cream.  He beamed all day as he does most days. I'm grateful for my sweet darlin' D!  Happy birthday Darlin!

Notice the cool covered wagon in the background next to the inoperable but interesting-looking windmill....and the birthday boy, Daniel, with his best buddies - brothers.

For song and praise and music...

Thanksgiving #26

                 Notes and rhythms have filled the halls of our home for about seven years now.  I guess you can say that people refer to us as a "muscial" family.  Could it be that three of my four boys play the piano?  We've feasted on Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Back, Beethoven, Gershwin, and the like...Chopin, Joplin, and Shubert and even Star Wars and Indiana Jones.  It's rich and filling and decadent.  It's also been a product of hard work, concentration, and challenge.  Did you know that God created early man as musical?  Yes, it's true!  Check out Genesis 4:21 "...Jubal, he was the father of all who played stringed instruments and pipes."  That was a time that dates even before the flood.  I am deeply grateful for the gift of music and song...raising praise and song to our King.

For Yahweh Rophe...

Thanksgiving #25

                  For some time now...maybe a few months, my Daniel has been fighting this nasty skin attack.  The right side of his cheek was being invaded by something awful and was making his beautiful skin red, bumpy, and angry.  His skin even bled at times, probably because he scratches it.  It was so itchy!  I've attempted to combat it with everything I can think of, including of coarse, prayer...praying over him and his cheek with every application of battle.  I've used sensitive-skin moisturizer, hydrocoritzone, triamcynalone, band aids...you name it.  The steroids seemed to exacerbate the issue, and the band aids left red marks where there were none before.   Finally, I took the band aids off and left his skin exposed with only benadryl to keep it from itching and him scratching.  It started working.  With prayer and patience, and God's healing hand, God touched him and lifted the ailment.  He's still healing, but you can hardly tell there was battle on that field of his cheek.  Thankful for God's healing hand...He is Yahweh Rophe!!

 

For His guard and keep...

Thanksgiving #24

              We finished our last football game this season last Saturday night.  And what a season!!  It wasn't easy but it was fantastically fun.  Twas an incredible season filled with growth, gratitude, and God.  God led the way, guarded the coarse, and protected their path.  I don't have the biggest boys on the team, as you know.  You can imagine my concerns...yes, fears...every time they hit the field and every time they hit an opponent.  And, every time they hit the field, as I dropped them off, whether it be for practice or game, I prayed over them....every time, without fail.  So the moment the buzzer sounded the end of the season and my player walked off the field for the last time, I thanked God for his protection.  God guarded my boys, every bone in their body and every sinew in their limbs...God marked their path with His guarded eye.  I'm grateful for the Lord's protective watch.

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

The Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you;

The Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."

~Numbers 6:24-26

The Priestly Blessing above was poured over my boys every time they walked that field.

Now to Him be the glory forever and ever.  Grateful for His guard...

For great friends and good times...

Thanksgiving #23

                     For couple time with another couple...reflecting, refueling, and reminiscing... This Saturday night Jean-Marc and I shared time, treats, and a table with the marvelous McNeffs.  What an endearing couple whose amazing transparency have endeared us to them.  We are grateful for the fellowship we share with them.  Oh, God is so good to give us such good friends that are so dear to us.  Grateful for great friends that share good times...not to mention sassy, spicy Spanish coffees at Huber's.

For my co-laborer in Christ...

Thanksgiving #22

               One of the greatest blessings about being married to my husband is the freedom and honor of coming under his headship.  As Christ is the head of the church so is my husband over our family.  Christ guides, protects, provides, and leads His flock, and my husband demonstrates the same with his family (or flock).  He has physically, emotionally, and spiritually provided leadership for our sweet tribe.  He leads   us with wisdom and discernment through prayer and God's prompting.  It has been my honor to co-labor with him in ministry as pre-marital counselors.  My husband has greatly ministered to me as he has ministered to others.  Today was such a blessed time as we met with Brad and Lexie, who plan to marry in December.  Jean-Marc led our discussion through different facets of marriage and then closed us in prayer.  I'm grateful for my co-laborer in Christ, whom I call husband, lover, and friend.

For His Sovereignty...

Thanksgiving #21

             For God's sovereignty and His ultimate control over all.  Nothing comes to be that doesn't pass through His loving, caring hands.  He ordains what comes to be in all of our lives.  I will not worry or fret over matters that are ultimately within His Hands.  For it is His loving Hands that orchestrates every event in our lives.   This last Wednesday, November 3, 2010, we finally heard who would be our new governor of Oregon.  We heard what we feared would happen, and we capture our thoughts & fear and yield them to Lord Almighty.  Our worldly fear turns to fear of the Lord.  He is Creator God.  So isn't He then worthy of governing all of our lives?  He is the one true Governor.  I rejoice.  I am grateful for God's Sovereignty.  He is my Strength and my Shield...whom shall I fear?  I ask...whom shall I fear?  No other, than God alone!

For prayer warriors

Thanksgiving #20

             Have you been given a gift of a prayer warrior who has petitioned on your behalf?  I have that blessing in my life.  God in His graciousness blessed me with a dear friend who has served in my life as my advocate, encourager, and prayer warrior.  She has been sensitive to the Lord's promptings in such a way that allows her to hear His voice and say just the right thing to a wounded heart or a longing friend seeking wisdom.  She has served with me in ministry as a prayer leader and I am grateful for my dear sister, Sandi.  This morning I had the blessing of being prayed over and encouraged by my sweet sister, Sandi.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of friend we call "sister".

For the one that I've loved the longest....

Thanksgiving #19

              Today wasn't an easy one with our eldest.  He's a teenager with all that teenage drama brings.  It's not that fun for us nor him.  I pray for him everyday...every morning, every night, and throughout.  I feel for him and my heart aches and longs that this time would pass quickly.  But I'm grateful for my eldest son...the one that I've loved the longest.


 

From the old to the new...

Thanksgiving #18

            Swirls of red and dots of gold, movement and depth in an ever-changing solid.  Today they demolished our old and brought in the new.  From old, tired, dingy, rotten tiles to vibrant, glowing, shimmering stone.   It's official...today marked the first day of our kitchen remodel.  And we started with the countertops.  It's the biggest element within the kitchen that has the most impact on the eye...and talk about the "wow" factor.  It is hard to believe that something so artistically designed and intricately crafted happened in chance.  It's amazement is evidence of the work of God's hand.  We have in our kitchen a reminder of the glory of God.  I keep walking through the room and marvel over the different areas within the counter and realize no two corners or points are the same.  As uniquely as we are made so is every thing that was by HIS hand.  Amazing.  I am grateful for the work of His Hand!

Blessed is a nation whose God is Lord...

Thanksgiving #17

                 For liberties and freedoms often taken for granted.  We live in a nation of "entitlement" and "assumings".  We assume we are owed and we are deserving for no reason other than we live and breath within this nation we call United States.  It very well may not have been my home as I am a first generation immigrant.  My parents immigrated here from the Philippine Islands in hopes of "American Dream", whatever that may mean.  And, I've found with all of that "Dream", we enjoy liberties that have blessed my parents beyond their dream.  Today I have the right to "vote"... to discern and choose right from wrong and truth from lies.   I'm grateful for this nation, I pray, whose God is Lord!

For prayer circles...

Thanksgiving #16

                  Today is Monday and as with every Monday morning, I pray with my dear friends Kathy and Kristen.  Every Monday we draw in our prayer circle, and we pray for all that is laid on our hearts.  We pray for our families, each other's families, our church, our extended families, our friends, our nation.  Tomorrow marks election day.  We prayed for an outcome that would glorify God, understanding regardless of outcome, HE is in control and sovereign.  We prayed for our children's friends.  We praised God for time spent with spouses.  We praised God for plenty, and we gave thanks for blessings.  I'm thankful for my prayer circle.

For faith in football...

Thanksgiving #15


                This last Saturday we attended Samuel's last football game of the season.  This was his first year and I feared his last.  Ok, part of me would have sighed with relief had it been his last.  At least then I wouldn't have feared injury.  But more than physical wounds, I feared emotional or even spiritual injury.  I wondered how the smallest and most softly spoken kid on the field would fare with over a couple other dozen helmet and padded clad rambunctious boys(because boys are, they just are) pummeling him over and over.  Sometimes I wondered if they could even see him, let alone hear him.  But this last game drew a deep sense of pride from me as I heard other parents, his coaches, and even his teammates speak about Samuel or as they call him, Sammy.  Some even referred to him as Samson...the strongest man in the Bible.  They remarked about how fearless and fast he was.  They spoke of his demeanor and dedication.  What he lacked in size and stature, he more than made up in spirit and speed.  Samuel learned more than football this season.  He learned faith in team and force in spirit.  Grateful for the opportunities of growth I wouldn't have picked for myself...Thank you Jesus for your protection over Samuel.

For faith in family...

Thanksgiving #14

         As with every Sunday, with very few exceptions, we attend church.  But not only do we get to hear God's message to us, but we get fed with fellowship that is different from the typical "socializing".  There's a stark contrast between friendship within the "fold"and "friendship within the world.  You might hear friendship within the "fold" referred to as "fellowship"...it's deep and Divine.  We walked in late to church...ok, that's another story, and we were immediately greeted by family.  We turned the corner and we're embraced by another and the other turn welcomed us with more family.  These weren't unknown assigned greeters serving their role.  These were familiar, faithful friends we call "family".  I'm so grateful for faithful fellowship within our "family".

For time alone, together...

Thanksgiving #13

              Jean-Marc and I spent time alone again tonight.  We visited our favorite place in the Burbs...the kind of Pearl District joint but right here in our hood...Hall Street.  We rekindled memories in this sweet ol' place that's brewed many a memory.  We've given up long ago limiting our conversations to that which doesn't include the kids.  All the self-help advice and philosophy had got us to thinking a couple is just about a couple.  I realized we were more about the everything we've shared over the coarse of our time...including our precious "littles".  So, we talked and laughed it up and shared about our kids and even shared a very spicy, sassy, Spanish coffee.  I'm grateful for time alone reflecting on time we've shared with our littles.

For what I didn't think would happen in my lifetime...

Thanksgiving #12

             Today marked something I didn't think would happen...not in my lifetime.  My mom and I sat in Bible Study Fellowship this morning, side by side, each with Bible in lap.  You may not know history, at least mine, but this marked a remarkable milestone.  My mom stumbled through the Word and fumbled on the answers.  But I just had this urge to turn to her and hug her.  I was going to say that I'm grateful for Bible studies, church, and the book of Isaiah...but I have to say I'm filled with gratitude for my Mom....my precious Mom.

Sweet fellowship....

Thanksgiving #11

         Such a sweet time of fellowship this morning with my sweet friend and her sweet brood.  Today, my dear friend, Kari, and her precious children, Ethan (age 5), Reese (age 3), and Archer (age 1), blessed our day with their time and presence.  We spoke of many things from child rearing; dirty diapers and their frequency; busy, bustling boys, among other things; including the glory of God.  That family never ceases to amaze me with what they do and sacrifice for His kingdom.  Here is a family that loves the Lord with all of their hearts, souls, and strength.  It shows in their countenance, their walk, and they way they engage with the rest of the world.  So grateful for fellowship with His precious dear ones.  You love me so much that You would gift me with sweet fellowship...grateful!

For that which I take for granted...

Thanksgiving #10

              Today I watched a woman cross the road without the help of two legs.  She labored traffic in her wheel chair, and I wondered if she noticed the many stares as she passed by.  She carried her baggages on her lap and her countenance reflected a kind of weariness that reflected an arduous journey.   I am grateful for two legs that I have taken for granted and have tarried many a journey with and for me.  They have taken me places I couldn't have gone without them...through the streets and steps of Jerusalem, the cobbled stones of Rome, one of my favorites Champs Elysee, dirt paths in Manila and the creek sides of the bario in Binalonan.  I have walked the Via Dela Rosa in Israel...yes, the same dirt path Christ walked when He did with the Cross on his back during His ascent to Calvary.  I am grateful for these two legs.

Times of reconnecting...

Thanksgiving #9

        I'm completely grateful and thankful and blessed by date nights.  Tonight was such a night.  I'm convinced they don't happen nearly enough...but will they ever?

Simply girlfriends...

Thanksgiving #8

           Was just smiling at the phone conversation I just hung up from.  My dear friend from highschool...Lauren, called just to bless me.  No purpose other than to remind me she loved me.  People may say to yourselves, "Oh, how sweet" "That's so nice."  But you know what?  It's beyond sweet and nice...it's obedience and kindness and faithfulness.  Lauren got this prompting and she couldn't shake it off..."Call Jenni" it said.  So, she did.  And in kindness, because that's the kind of woman she is...a woman of noble character with the law of kindness on her tongue (Check out Proverbs 31...a cool read), spoke courage to me as she "encouraged" me.  And with love and faith, she voiced her love for one of her Father's own.  I'm so grateful for sisters in Christ.  Thank you Lauren.

For harrowing and heroic rescues...

Thanksgiving #7

Thankful for heroic and harrowing victories.  All 33 Chilean miners were lifted out of the depths of over a mile back onto the light of the surface after the stretch of 69 bleak and grievous days…not knowing if they would survive.  Rescue efforts were planned to have taken at least 4 months into Christmas.  But they were rescued before they expected and each man surprisingly recovered.  With the last man rescued, Chile broke out in song with Chile’s national anthem.  Car horns, church bells, and fire station alarms rang freedom, declaring liberty of the captive miners.  I’m thankful for God’s protective watch over every man…that HE reached down to the depths and pulled each one back up alive!!

Date nights

Thanksgiving #6

I’m so grateful and joyful over date nights…they are truly few and far between; a rare gem in long stretches of time within the season of  “littles” at home.  Thank you for those precious moments I can reconnect with my dear love and reflect on love…remembering is critical in sustaining relationship…remembering, reflecting, relationship.  And I love how we stumbled upon the local “place to be” with wonderful eats and cozy dining, not to mention the several neighbors we ran into.  What an endearing evening.

Sweet homecomings...

Thanksgiving #5

Yesterday, my sweet love came home after being gone for 4 days.  I’m grateful for sweet homecomings.  It’s hard to be apart, and difficult from the very start.  But it’s those sweet moments of “hello, again” that restore the time of separation.  

For bright, sunny skies...

Thanksgiving #4

Grateful for bright sunny days such as these…that bring light to those stale, dark places, warmth to the cold and damp, and hope to days that seemed hopeless.  Took my boys to the park today to run and challenge their bodies.  I always tell them fitness is often about being a wise and good steward of that which God has given us.  On the drive home, Daniel chirped gratefully, “Thank you for letting us run in the park today, Mommy.  You’re the best mommy!”  I’m grateful for his “grateful”!

First born sons

Thanksgiving #3

Thanking God for my children, but early this morning was struck with immense gratitude for my eldest, as he readied himself for school.  As I helped him pack a healthy snack, he  observed me in the kitchen and remarked, “I can tell how much you love me,” and then he smiled at me with that kind of smile he does when he’s filled, I mean really filled.  Well that just filled me, and I’m the one who’s still smiling, even after he’s been gone for a few hours.  Oh, I’m grateful for first born sons.

For listening hearts...

Thanksgiving #2

I give thanks for wise mentors and kind friends, who are one in the same.  My mentor, friend, confidant, and sounding board, Shauna Moon, came over tonight as she does once a month.  She is loyal and faithful.  I can always count on her to be here consistently and when she says she will be.  She has a listening heart and compassionate countenance…I can share my deepest depths.  I can’t help but be transparent with her…I can’t help but be grateful…

He is firm and still...

Taking captive your thoughts and yielding them to the will of God, not yours...involves focusing less on your own needs and more on the needs of others…means considering others over myself…diminishes self-absorption and breeds gratitude….These are the efforts made to combat depression....

Thanksgiving #1
I am grateful for my husband’s kindness and compassion during  bouts of anguish and heart ache…his careful listening and attentive heart…his soft whispers of comfort and firm grasp of embrace reminding me that although I am swirling in chaotic thoughts and mayhem, He is firm and still.  From depression to gratitude…

In the dark...

When darkness overtakes you…have you ever been depressed before?  Have you ever heard your voice say within you, “You’re not worthy?”  Have you ever thought of extinguishing your existence or walking in a hell that lived your worst nightmare because you believe that’s what you deserve?   Have you ever hurt the very people that you love the deepest because it brings you that much closer to death?   You know its not what you want for yourself or for them…the people you treasure the most…it’s like being in a snare…you know the kind that captures birds as they flee.

I’m spinning through each of these right now…because I’m suffering from the dark plague of “depression”.  I googled the symptoms today and discovered that many of them I own.  I’m actually pretty proud that I’m able to articulate this…like AA, it’s probably the first step…admitting the problem.  The opposite would be denial.  I know very little about depression, but I know it’s dark, evil, damp, and deep.  And, I’m caught up in its pungent mire.  I don’t know how to reach out for help or to claw my way out of these depths… I do know that there is only ONE that can reach down and scoop me out of my “own” deplorable leanings.  Will You hear my pleas and cries?  I’m told that You love me and that You created my very being…I’m thinking not to endure the very things I’m enduring right now but for a purpose I seem to have lost.  Can I find YOU again?

Here are some of the things that run through my mind and spirit?  Please don’t be shocked if you’ve had the blessing of never contending with “depression”, and please don’t judge my failings, weakness, and ailments.  I’m told that I shouldn’t be defined by them…so neither will I be judged by them… Here they are in their darkest form:

I’m nothing to be cherished or treasured.

No one treasures or cherishes me in the deepest way I long.

Since I’ve been born, no one in flesh has loved me in the way I’m marked as special.

Oh yes, I’ve been cared for, my basic needs and all, but not in a cherished way.

I’m dirty, deplorable, and dumb.

I’m not deserving.

I’m deeply longing.

I’m failing

I’m lost in a labyrinth of impurity.

I’m afraid I don’t feel forgiven.

And, I’ve not forgiven myself…and maybe not others who have hurt me deeply.

I’m filled with hate for others.

I only know how to love imperfectly…is that even love at all?

I’ve cried the deepest of oceans…the “wineskins” said to have collected my tears have broken long ago…there isn’t enough room for all that have streaked my cheeks.

I trust very few, if any.

I’ve failed at loving my family.

I’ve failed at being family.

I’ve failed at being mommy.

I’ve failed at being wife.

I’ve rejected love… and have I rejected God?

I’m frightened…and I’m afraid I’m alone…in the dark. 

Proverbs continued in the "gentle and quiet spirit"

We have discovered the portrait of this Proverbs 31 woman, understanding her prayerfulness and the emphasis on her relationship with the Lord....knowing that it isn’t about all that she does and accomplishes.  Like what Pastor Bill said, “You don’t want the unimportant things to mean too much and the most important things to mean too little.”  The most important thing being our relationship with the Lord not what the house looks like and how orderly it appears or the food that’s served and how organic it is or the money that’s saved and how many coupons you’ve used.. In fact, Mathew 6:25 says, “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear...Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  And in that same passage Mathew 6:33, God again reinforces the important thing... our relationship with Him when He says, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”  He promises that He takes care of us as we take care to seek Him.

But I don’t want to discount the many great and wonderful things that Proverbs 31 woman has done...as we discovered she provides food for her family and provides it well, raised children that rose and called her blessed, a savvy business lady, disciplined and trained children wisely and with faithful instruction, and balanced all this with strength, dignity, and laughter and we know from Proverbs 31:27 she “kept watch over the affairs of her household” with a godly sense of order.  She has done many things and many things well or many women have done many things for she is a composite of many different women.   But not one single woman has done all things at one time.  In God’s order, he has ordered things in seasons, by HIS design, for many reasons... to magnify HIS splendor, to deepen our gratitude...how grateful we are for the rains when we’ve had stretches of endless scorching days of heat(which rarely happens in Portland, I know) or how grateful we are for the least bit of the sun’s rays when we’ve had endless, unceasing days of rain(which does happen often in Portland)...So His seasons, then reflect His glory and splendor, deepen our gratitude, but they also give us hope as we realize as it says in Ecclesiastes 3:1 that there is “a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven” and that some things will pass into the next as do the seasons.  

But there are some things that do not pass through the seasons or at least, their importance doesn’t and they are seasonless.  One being her relationship with the Lord...that’s an important thing and a seasonless thing, and the other being her relationship with her husband.  Yes, we spoke about many of her attributes and qualities that are irrespective of her marital status, but once married, she is faithful to reflect her faithfulness in Christ in her faithfulness to her husband... in many ways, and I’m not talking in the just “sticking it out with him" way.  

Proverbs 31: 10-12: “A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”  All the days of her life...that means that does not move with the seasons.  It goes all the days of her life.  And it was no mistake that those 6 words were included, “all the days of her life” distinguishing that some things are within season and some are seasonless.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value... what are those things that our husbands value.  We should offer them to him as part of our ministry to the Lord...”serving him as if we were serving the Lord.”  Colossians 3:23   Respect being one of the first things.  “the wife must respect her husband.”  Ephesians 5:33...and there is no “disclaimer” excluding those husband that you may deem disrespectable or any “opt out clause” for husbands that we feel don’t deserve our respect.  It simply says “the wife must respect her husband.”  This may be difficult for some for many reasons.  I won’t begin to say that I can understand your relationship with your husband or the kind of man he is or better yet, the kind of man you think he should be and isn’t.  God simply says, “the wife must respect her husband.”  And how ever that may look like within your marriage, is by God’s design.  You can seek wisdom from Him on this through His word, godly counseling, mentors, encouragers.  But do not stop seeking ways to respect him.  And yes, even if He does not believe.  

Some of you know that I married an unbeliever.  1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they maybe won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”  There it is again... an emphasis on our relationship with the Lord... by the words “the purity and reverence of our lives.”  Then it goes on to say, “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”  

You know I’m humbled, greatly by this sharing... and I hated the thought of sharing on these passages at this time.  For the great and most part, my husband and I enjoy a deep and intimate fellowship that’s light and fun much of the time but deeply romantic at the same time.  But just this weekend, I struggled in being that “gentle and quiet spirit” and in my pride I think I was more of a “rough and loud spirit”   Oh, I didn’t have to raise my voice to him.  My spirit did that for me, and my husband heard it loud and clear.  What did it look like?  Well, it wasn’t that pretty... you saw it in my countenance, my tone, my inflections, and my stance.  You see,  the words “Ok, I’ll do what you want me to do... you are the head of the house!!”  “I care about you and you doing the right thing for our boys!”  Really?  Well that so called “care” is just so well, not caringly said.  He smiled and I knew he caught saw my spirit that was anything other than “gentle and quiet.”  

When I shared with my husband what I would be sharing with my class, his eyes filled with the gloss of tears.  He whispered, “Jenni, you have to remember it was that ‘gentle and quiet spirit’ that aided me to believe one day”...there were many things that helped him along the way but the biggest thing was the Holy Spirit.  And he could only hear the Spirit when mine was “gentle and quiet.”  You see, my husband is a a man through and through.  And, He doesn’t want to be led by a domineering wife, I believe that no man does.  

We talked about Proverbs 31: 27 “She watches over the affairs of her household”  And Dayna shared in such a way that keep the right order of things.  For God is a God of order...1 Corinthians 14:33 “For God is not a God of disorder but of peace”.... His Order is God, first, husband second, children, third... by the way, your children should never upsurp the order that rightfully belongs to God.  And they should never upsurp the order that rightfully belongs to your husband.  I’ve often seen families where children came before all, and that’s when the family risks a fall.  

I encourage you to nurture your relationship with the Lord first and husbands second.  Nurture your relationship with your husband in many ways... yes, as many counsel, date or court your husband.  But you don’t have to leave your home or plan a special date to nurture your husband or even spend money.  You can nurture your relationship in the every day without leaving your home or spending a dime.  Here are some of the ways I have chosen to nurture my marriage in the "everyday":

1. Greet your husband when he comes home with a warm hello, I love you, and strong embrace.
2. Pray for your husband every day, throughout the day.
3. Ask your husband how you can be praying for him each morning.
4. Hold hands in bed.
5. Support and uphold him in front of the children.
6. Praise him in front of others including his own friends.
7. Praise him in front of his own children, even when he’s not there.
8. Dream about him...talk about his ambitions, goals, and visions.  
9. Allow him to protect you- hide in his chest during a tense scene in a movie.
10. Make your bed everyday.
11. Take the tv out of your bedroom.
12. Keep fresh flowers in your room next to your bedside.
13. Keep your room tiday and preserve the sanctity of your bedroom.
14. Fold his socks and underwear neatly.
15. Use terms of endearment to address each other.  This becomes such a habit that it even shows up in arguments.
16. Write love letters and mail them to him at work or at home.
17. Leave post it with love notes in places he’ll find later
18. Tell him how amazingly sexy he is.... and I can go more on this, but I’ll stop there.

The Proverbs 31 woman was generously compassionate

In these last weeks, we have been discovering the portrait of the Proverbs 31 woman.  The first week we discovered the Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman.  She is the Prayerful 31 woman.  She is not a portrait of one single woman but a composite or aggregate of many capable women.  Her portrait does not focus on her acquired abilities, given talents, all her accomplishments, or even her marital status... the focus is on her relationship with the Lord.  Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who has a heart after God’s own heart.

We learned that one of her top priorities is feeding her family...”she provides food for her family...” Proverbs 31:15  She raises children that rise to call her blessed as we saw in Proverbs 31:28.  

She is financially savvy, an astute business woman who even invested in real estate.  She is so successful that she expanded her business venture to include a vineyard and even traded for a profit.  She is a responsible and wise steward which also includes the fact that she is compassionate toward the poor and needy.  And she demonstrates her compassion with concrete acts of mercy not just by word and tongue but through action and deed.

She is a wise steward who also knows the importance of giving back to God.  She and her house give back to God.  She most likely tithes.  Tithing literally means a tenth and many scholars believe in 10% of the gross as “first fruits” refer to the gross of your earnings.  In Malachi, God says, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  Test me in this, “says the Lord Almighty and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”  It’s almost saying that God challenges you to dare Him to bless you... Come one, see that I won’t bless you because I have just the mind to do it!

She is a multi-faceted, capable, virtuous and noble woman of great strength and valor.  Wisdom and faithful instruction are on her tongue Proverbs 31:26.  How and where does she obtain wisdom?  

“Turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding... then you will understand the fear of the Lord and then find the knowledge of God.”  For the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.  

Remember wisdom is not from our own thoughts and mind, our gut, our own feelings and emotions.  For that type of wisdom leans on our own understanding and is not trustworthy.  But instead trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.   

Proverbs 31 woman is many things and one of the things she is... is that she is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.”  Proverbs 31:25  That she is clothed with a strength and dignity or valor is saying that she is clothed with a strength that does not come from herself but from the strength of God’s might.  With Christ and His might, she faces trials and testing with confidence... almost to say “Bring it!”  Because she trusts in the Lord completely, she can laugh at the days to come.

Not just with word and tongue but in action and deed

 

Proverbs 31 woman…as we discussed last week, the Proverbs 31 woman is not the perfect 31 woman, but the prayerful 31 woman.  She is an ideal woman who serves as a timeless example.  As this passage was written back in the days of Solomon, it was written in ancient times, but the teachings are just as applicable today as they were back then.  So the Proverbs 31 woman is a timeless example of virtue, responsibility, and good sense. 

She is not any single woman, but she is a composite or aggregate of many capable women.  No one excels at everything.  And although the Proverbs 31 woman is described as a married woman, marriage and motherhood are not prerequisites for the successful Christian walk for a woman.  The essential characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman can be applied to the single woman, too.  I believe that Proverbs 31 woman is a portrait of ideal womanhood…giving us an example for us to strive for.  The focus of this portrait is not on her specific abilities, her high performance, or even marital status.  The focus of Proverbs 31 woman is on her relationship with God.  She realizes that regardless of all of her natural talents or acquired skills or even her charm and her beauty, all that is fleeting or temporary.  Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”   

Proverbs 31 is a poem as is much of the passages in Proverbs and Psalms.  In fact there are the books of the Bible that scholars refer to as the Books of Wisdom and they include Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon.  Did you know that Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem?  An acrostic is a poem form in which the first letter of each line or verse spells out a word or phrase or in some specific order, such as alphabetical. 

Begining with verse 10, Proverbs 31 consists of 22 verses. Each verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet (in proper order).   In Proverbs 31, each verse is also clearly divided into two parts (for example, in verse 10---Part 1:  A wife of noble character who can find?   Part 2:  She is worth far more than rubies. This same two-part format is found in all of these verses. The only exception might be verse 15 which seems to be divided into three parts.

“A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies. “ The Hebrew word chayil, translated here “noble” or “virtuous” means a woman of valor – a strong, capable woman with strong convictions.  I believe that the Proverbs 31 woman is not a mousy, timid, weak-willed woman driven by fleeting emotions or temporary circumstance…she is a strong, capable woman with strong convictions.  This is not to say that she may or may not be soft spoken and gentle because there are passages specifically in 1 Peter 3 that describes a woman of great worth in the sight of God as being one with an unfading beauty of gentle and quiet spirit.  By the way, rubies are mentioned here probably because they are more rare and more difficult to mine than even diamonds…rubies of perfect quality.

The Proverb 31 woman is described as being financially savvy, an astute business woman.  She is a good steward of what the Lord has blessed her with.  It describes her as being involved in real estate…for she considers a field and buys it and out of her earnings from that she plants a vineyard.  She is wise in her management of household resources…she even sells her linen garments.  But part of being a wise steward is also having the wisdom and discernment in knowing how to give. 

In verse 20, Proverbs 31 woman is described as having compassion toward the poor and needy and she shows her compassion with concrete deeds of mercy.  She loves the poor, not in word or in tongue only, but also in deed and in truth (1 John 3:16-18).

 There are many ways to show compassion in deed and action.  Consider the man on the corner…consider carrying meal vouchers in your car, bottled water, healthy food items, or gift certificates.  Consider carrying tracts or words of encouragement to hand out.  Not only do you consider their physical needs but their spiritual needs as well which is eternal and more impactful. 

Share with your children how you and your husband tithe and give. 

Consider sponsoring a "Compassion" child through www.compassion.com.  You can sponsor a child in almost any country for about $38 a month.  When you sponsor a child, you'll receive your child's photo, personal story and a child sponsorship packet by mail in approximately 15 days.  As you exchange letters, send photos and offer encouragement in Jesus' name, your love will bring hope to your sponsored child that will last a lifetime.

The point is that the Proverbs 31 woman is a compassionate woman who loves on the poor and needy with concrete acts of mercy by her actions and deeds not just words and tongue. 

May God give you each much wisdom and discernment in how to best meet the needs of those with whom God puts you in contact whether it be the man on the side of the road with a sign or a  barefoot child in the rural jungle of Zimbabwe that you will never meet in person just through photos.  For Jesus said in Mathew 25:40 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

May we do it all for Jesus.

Proverbs 31...not the Perfect 31...but the Prayerful 31

Last Tuesday, I led and spoke to an amazing group of young women who eagerly seek to grow in the Lord.  I facilitate a class targeted toward women who are trying to raise a family by God's wisdom and His design.  Proverbs 31 serves as our inspiration and guide, and Scripture and Spirit steer our direction.  I shared something I didn't want to or plan on sharing... but something that I felt quite led to share.  I shared to help build a frame work for everything else that would be shared in the next coming weeks.  This is what I said...

Growing up, my family and I attended church...although sporadically, when we could and when it was convenient..always on Christmas and Easter, but never regularly and definitely not wholeheartedly.  Church was stressful for our family, on the way there and on the way back, and rarely enjoyable for me.  However, I want to stress that I was blessed with a mom and dad who loved me dearly and deeply and each other with great devotion, but I also experienced great hurts which took great and intense time to heal.  In fact, I remember very little of my childhood because of that... However, I do remember somethings.  I remember leading my brothers and sister in prayer...I was the eldest and I would lead them in prayer late at night after my parents went to bed and closed their doors... I remember wanting to read the Bible and starting in the book of Genesis which I figured was just all in Greek anyway... but what I especially recall are the many, many nights I cried myself to sleep.  And as I got older, I shared some of my hurts and pains with some of my trusted and closest friends and none with with my family but most of them I endured alone.  

So, as a result, I entered my young adulthood with much baggage, pain, and heartache.... including the first years of my marriage, although I married the love of my life...my high-school sweet heart, my very best friend, my closest advisor, and my greatest encourager.  

Generational sin had afflicted my family of origin, and I was not immune or protected from it... I confess anger, bitterness, and pride didn’t just creep into my marriage, it dominated it!  But by the mighty grace of God, his New Beginnings, and His tender mercies, I found healing.  Oh, I am far, far, far from perfect but now walking in victory.  How I ask myself?  By many ways...one of those ways...through the many servants He placed in my way to nurture, encourage, and to love on me in such a way that I never realized as a young girl.  I never saw godly parenting modeled for me, let alone knew what a godly marriage should look like.  Sadly, my poor, sweet, husband can attest to that.  Through ministries here at Rolling Hills such as Hearts at Home, Tapestries (which is a discipleship ministry), the many Bible studies I couldn’t get enough of, God flooded my life with examples of those who taught me how to parent and be the wife He wanted me to be.  You see, I was so hungry, I was desperate... which made me very teachable.   

And I will confess to you all, I still struggle and fail, but failure and struggle have been my greatest teachers which force me to repentance each and every single time.   

And another confession... I have had to roll up my sleeves and “work” at family.  Sadly, unlike some of my girlfriends and others I know, it doesn’t come naturally for me.  What does come naturally are those things of the flesh, not of the Holy Spirit’s.  Our family, like my family of origin, love each other deeply, but in my current, immediate family, we confess and profess our love openly to one another daily.  We have to... it’s what helps build family and our home.

A wise woman builds her home; a foolish one tears hers down by her own hands”  Proverbs 14:1

So as we began, I prayed that the message would inspire all the women there to create for themselves the home God wants them to build...however that might look...knowing each one is unique.  The Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman...But, just like north, I believe she is a direction...not a destination you will magically and miraculously eventually find yourself one day  but a direction we face at the start of each day... remembering His mercies are new each day.

And one of the things that has helped me become a better mom is letting go of being a "perfect" mom.  In doing so, I have been able to see my imperfections and take all of my imperfections, shortcomings, and failings to the Lord in prayer.  So, the Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman.  She is the Prayerful 31 woman.