Proverbs 31...not the Perfect 31...but the Prayerful 31

Last Tuesday, I led and spoke to an amazing group of young women who eagerly seek to grow in the Lord.  I facilitate a class targeted toward women who are trying to raise a family by God's wisdom and His design.  Proverbs 31 serves as our inspiration and guide, and Scripture and Spirit steer our direction.  I shared something I didn't want to or plan on sharing... but something that I felt quite led to share.  I shared to help build a frame work for everything else that would be shared in the next coming weeks.  This is what I said...

Growing up, my family and I attended church...although sporadically, when we could and when it was convenient..always on Christmas and Easter, but never regularly and definitely not wholeheartedly.  Church was stressful for our family, on the way there and on the way back, and rarely enjoyable for me.  However, I want to stress that I was blessed with a mom and dad who loved me dearly and deeply and each other with great devotion, but I also experienced great hurts which took great and intense time to heal.  In fact, I remember very little of my childhood because of that... However, I do remember somethings.  I remember leading my brothers and sister in prayer...I was the eldest and I would lead them in prayer late at night after my parents went to bed and closed their doors... I remember wanting to read the Bible and starting in the book of Genesis which I figured was just all in Greek anyway... but what I especially recall are the many, many nights I cried myself to sleep.  And as I got older, I shared some of my hurts and pains with some of my trusted and closest friends and none with with my family but most of them I endured alone.  

So, as a result, I entered my young adulthood with much baggage, pain, and heartache.... including the first years of my marriage, although I married the love of my life...my high-school sweet heart, my very best friend, my closest advisor, and my greatest encourager.  

Generational sin had afflicted my family of origin, and I was not immune or protected from it... I confess anger, bitterness, and pride didn’t just creep into my marriage, it dominated it!  But by the mighty grace of God, his New Beginnings, and His tender mercies, I found healing.  Oh, I am far, far, far from perfect but now walking in victory.  How I ask myself?  By many ways...one of those ways...through the many servants He placed in my way to nurture, encourage, and to love on me in such a way that I never realized as a young girl.  I never saw godly parenting modeled for me, let alone knew what a godly marriage should look like.  Sadly, my poor, sweet, husband can attest to that.  Through ministries here at Rolling Hills such as Hearts at Home, Tapestries (which is a discipleship ministry), the many Bible studies I couldn’t get enough of, God flooded my life with examples of those who taught me how to parent and be the wife He wanted me to be.  You see, I was so hungry, I was desperate... which made me very teachable.   

And I will confess to you all, I still struggle and fail, but failure and struggle have been my greatest teachers which force me to repentance each and every single time.   

And another confession... I have had to roll up my sleeves and “work” at family.  Sadly, unlike some of my girlfriends and others I know, it doesn’t come naturally for me.  What does come naturally are those things of the flesh, not of the Holy Spirit’s.  Our family, like my family of origin, love each other deeply, but in my current, immediate family, we confess and profess our love openly to one another daily.  We have to... it’s what helps build family and our home.

A wise woman builds her home; a foolish one tears hers down by her own hands”  Proverbs 14:1

So as we began, I prayed that the message would inspire all the women there to create for themselves the home God wants them to build...however that might look...knowing each one is unique.  The Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman...But, just like north, I believe she is a direction...not a destination you will magically and miraculously eventually find yourself one day  but a direction we face at the start of each day... remembering His mercies are new each day.

And one of the things that has helped me become a better mom is letting go of being a "perfect" mom.  In doing so, I have been able to see my imperfections and take all of my imperfections, shortcomings, and failings to the Lord in prayer.  So, the Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman.  She is the Prayerful 31 woman.