I picked up this hilarious book because, although I do not drive a minivan but a Suburban...same thing...the title describes the years I happen to be enjoying or enduring this very season. Author, Olivia Bruner, serves on the faculty of the Center for Strong Families, is also a co-founder of the Heritage Builders Association, and a frequent guest on Focus on the Family.
As parents we may often make mistakes and wonder if our children will turn out ok. She reminds us that even with the Perfect Parent, our Father in Heaven, His children stumble, fall, and fail at times. So, if a Perfect Parent like God encounters mishaps with His children, we are in good company. As you display grace for others, extend grace to yourself as well.
Every mother needs to come to a place of recognizing that her children are not, in fact, her children. They are God’s. We only have the privilege of nurturing, caring, training, teaching, and loving them only for a time, but we do not own them. God wired us with an instinct to care and protect these young toward life, but not worry ourselves to death over them.
A study from Columbia University reported that children who had dinner with their parents fewer than three times a week were more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs than children who had dinner with their parents five to seven times a week. Endeavor to spend as many meals with your children as possible....breakfast, lunch, or even a snack served at the table. It doesn’t have to be dinner. Play “high/low” around a meal. Each family member describes their “high” for that day, their favorite part of the day, as well as their “low”, their not so favorite. This activity can serve as an opportunity to gain further insight into your children’s heart...exposing their joys, fear, or struggles. It also gives you a chance to encourage and intervene in prayer for your children.
Give highlight to answered prayers. Our children may see us pray at meal times, pray at bed times, and pray at times of great need. Give them a chance to see and know how God’s work in those prayers by sharing how God has answered them.
As soon as your children begin sleeping through the night, set your alarm clock for at least thirty minutes before they wake up to prepare for the day. Use the time to review schedules, goals for the day, pray, and read your Bible. Like those who work in jobs outside of the home prepare ahead of time for the work before them, let us endeavor to prepare well for our days. Remember do not be legalistic if it doesn’t work that you arise before the first child does.
Remember to enjoy these “enduring” days with children at home...ok, easily said than done when you’re in the midst of it. Right? Everyday is challenging when you have young children at home, but know that circumstance cannot steal from the truly happy or give to the truly miserable. Neither depends on the proximity to pleasure, health, or money. They depend on their proximity to God. Schedule “fun days” or “date nights” with your children. Or be spontaneous by making chocolate chip pancakes one morning or playing Monopoly after school.
It’s never too early to begin modeling or teaching your children about handling money. God encourages us to be good stewards with all that He blesses us. Teach your children the same. You can find helpful tools in teaching children money management by visiting www.crown.org and www.daveramsey.com.
Establish your home as a safe place for every family member to be their “own”...free of judgement, teasing, or harassment. Establish rules or safe guards from “put-downs in jest” or rude comments. Allow your children to view home as a heavenly refuge on this side of heaven.
When you discover or catch your child doing something wrong, watch your reaction. Learn to expect your children to sin. They will...we all do. It is important to be firm in discipline but be careful to show grace in the moment of discovery. Remain calm and instruct your child on why what he or she did was wrong and assign the appropriate consequence. Remember that sinful behavior is the result of our human condition.
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