Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman

This straightforward, direct, and even funny book offers practical application of the Scriptures to parenting.  If “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” imparts the doctrine behind godly parenting, “Don’t 
Make Me Count to Three!” gives the practical application of the values taught in “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”.

We should expect a godly standard for our children, anything short of this would be unfair to the 
great calling that the Lord has assigned us as parents.  The standard should be obedience “all the 
way, right away, and with a joyful heart.”  Remember partial obedience is not obedience at all 
and delayed obedience is really disobedience.  And inward obedience is just as important as 
outward obedience…a joyful heart.

Ginger Plowman discusses ways that we, as mommies, can deal with the frustrations that come up 
in parenting our precious little ones.  She offers 6 guidelines when meting out discipline and dealing 
with our own anger or frustration:

1.    Examine your motives: “Am I disciplining my child because my will has been violated or 
     God’s will has been violated?  Am I correcting my child because he has sinned against God 
     or because his behavior has caused me some personal discomfort, embarrassment, or trouble?

2.    Examine your approach: Have I provoked my child in some way?  What is my example for 
     my child, even when I am disciplining him/her? 

3.    Choose the right time and place.  Do not embarrass your child.  He will be more attentive to 
     your instructions if he is not embarrassed because of being reproved in front of his friends.  
     When you reprove your child in front of others, you take his/her focus off of the sin of his/her 
     heart and onto the embarrassment and humiliation that you have unnecessarily caused him/her. 
     Your goal is not to embarrass him/her but to bring him/her to repentance.  Incidentally, I also 
     choose not discipline my four boys in front of each other for the same reason of preserving
     their dignity and their trust in me.

4.    Choose the right words.  Be careful even when disciplining or reproving that your words are 
     loving not insulting.  For example, don’t substitute “You are being disrespectful” with “You 
     are acting like an ugly brat”

5.    Choose the right tone of voice.  Make sure that your voice is not above normal tone of voice 
     and with carefully measured words…yes, even when they frustrate you.  I make it a point to 
     even lower my voice to a level below normal that I may insure self-control and not anger.

6.    Be prepared to suggest a biblical solution to your child.  We quickly inform our children when 
     and what they are doing wrong.  But we should also suggest a way they could have done it differently.  We can tell our children what to put off(sinfulness) but we must remember that 
     it is even more important to tell them what to put on(righteousness).  We need to train them in 
     how to replace the wrong behavior with the right behavior.   1 Corinthians 10:13 says that when 
     you are tempted: “God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  
     But when you are tempted, He will provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”  As 
     a rule, anytime you correct your child for wrong behavior, have him walk through right 
     behavior.  This is how we train our children to walk in the righteous of Christ.

Remember when you discipline your child what your ultimate goal is.  J.C. Ryles says, “Train with 
this thought continually before your eyes: The soul of your child is the first thing to be considered.  
In every step that you take about them, in every plan and scheme and arrangement that concerns 
them, do not leave out that mighty question, ‘How will this affect their souls?’  Our ultimate goal 
in everything should be to point them to Christ.”