The Proverbs 31 woman was generously compassionate

In these last weeks, we have been discovering the portrait of the Proverbs 31 woman.  The first week we discovered the Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman.  She is the Prayerful 31 woman.  She is not a portrait of one single woman but a composite or aggregate of many capable women.  Her portrait does not focus on her acquired abilities, given talents, all her accomplishments, or even her marital status... the focus is on her relationship with the Lord.  Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”  Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who has a heart after God’s own heart.

We learned that one of her top priorities is feeding her family...”she provides food for her family...” Proverbs 31:15  She raises children that rise to call her blessed as we saw in Proverbs 31:28.  

She is financially savvy, an astute business woman who even invested in real estate.  She is so successful that she expanded her business venture to include a vineyard and even traded for a profit.  She is a responsible and wise steward which also includes the fact that she is compassionate toward the poor and needy.  And she demonstrates her compassion with concrete acts of mercy not just by word and tongue but through action and deed.

She is a wise steward who also knows the importance of giving back to God.  She and her house give back to God.  She most likely tithes.  Tithing literally means a tenth and many scholars believe in 10% of the gross as “first fruits” refer to the gross of your earnings.  In Malachi, God says, “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.  Test me in this, “says the Lord Almighty and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”  It’s almost saying that God challenges you to dare Him to bless you... Come one, see that I won’t bless you because I have just the mind to do it!

She is a multi-faceted, capable, virtuous and noble woman of great strength and valor.  Wisdom and faithful instruction are on her tongue Proverbs 31:26.  How and where does she obtain wisdom?  

“Turn your ear to wisdom and apply your heart to understanding and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding... then you will understand the fear of the Lord and then find the knowledge of God.”  For the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.  

Remember wisdom is not from our own thoughts and mind, our gut, our own feelings and emotions.  For that type of wisdom leans on our own understanding and is not trustworthy.  But instead trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.   

Proverbs 31 woman is many things and one of the things she is... is that she is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.”  Proverbs 31:25  That she is clothed with a strength and dignity or valor is saying that she is clothed with a strength that does not come from herself but from the strength of God’s might.  With Christ and His might, she faces trials and testing with confidence... almost to say “Bring it!”  Because she trusts in the Lord completely, she can laugh at the days to come.

Not just with word and tongue but in action and deed

 

Proverbs 31 woman…as we discussed last week, the Proverbs 31 woman is not the perfect 31 woman, but the prayerful 31 woman.  She is an ideal woman who serves as a timeless example.  As this passage was written back in the days of Solomon, it was written in ancient times, but the teachings are just as applicable today as they were back then.  So the Proverbs 31 woman is a timeless example of virtue, responsibility, and good sense. 

She is not any single woman, but she is a composite or aggregate of many capable women.  No one excels at everything.  And although the Proverbs 31 woman is described as a married woman, marriage and motherhood are not prerequisites for the successful Christian walk for a woman.  The essential characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman can be applied to the single woman, too.  I believe that Proverbs 31 woman is a portrait of ideal womanhood…giving us an example for us to strive for.  The focus of this portrait is not on her specific abilities, her high performance, or even marital status.  The focus of Proverbs 31 woman is on her relationship with God.  She realizes that regardless of all of her natural talents or acquired skills or even her charm and her beauty, all that is fleeting or temporary.  Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”   

Proverbs 31 is a poem as is much of the passages in Proverbs and Psalms.  In fact there are the books of the Bible that scholars refer to as the Books of Wisdom and they include Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon.  Did you know that Proverbs 31 is an acrostic poem?  An acrostic is a poem form in which the first letter of each line or verse spells out a word or phrase or in some specific order, such as alphabetical. 

Begining with verse 10, Proverbs 31 consists of 22 verses. Each verse begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet (in proper order).   In Proverbs 31, each verse is also clearly divided into two parts (for example, in verse 10---Part 1:  A wife of noble character who can find?   Part 2:  She is worth far more than rubies. This same two-part format is found in all of these verses. The only exception might be verse 15 which seems to be divided into three parts.

“A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies. “ The Hebrew word chayil, translated here “noble” or “virtuous” means a woman of valor – a strong, capable woman with strong convictions.  I believe that the Proverbs 31 woman is not a mousy, timid, weak-willed woman driven by fleeting emotions or temporary circumstance…she is a strong, capable woman with strong convictions.  This is not to say that she may or may not be soft spoken and gentle because there are passages specifically in 1 Peter 3 that describes a woman of great worth in the sight of God as being one with an unfading beauty of gentle and quiet spirit.  By the way, rubies are mentioned here probably because they are more rare and more difficult to mine than even diamonds…rubies of perfect quality.

The Proverb 31 woman is described as being financially savvy, an astute business woman.  She is a good steward of what the Lord has blessed her with.  It describes her as being involved in real estate…for she considers a field and buys it and out of her earnings from that she plants a vineyard.  She is wise in her management of household resources…she even sells her linen garments.  But part of being a wise steward is also having the wisdom and discernment in knowing how to give. 

In verse 20, Proverbs 31 woman is described as having compassion toward the poor and needy and she shows her compassion with concrete deeds of mercy.  She loves the poor, not in word or in tongue only, but also in deed and in truth (1 John 3:16-18).

 There are many ways to show compassion in deed and action.  Consider the man on the corner…consider carrying meal vouchers in your car, bottled water, healthy food items, or gift certificates.  Consider carrying tracts or words of encouragement to hand out.  Not only do you consider their physical needs but their spiritual needs as well which is eternal and more impactful. 

Share with your children how you and your husband tithe and give. 

Consider sponsoring a "Compassion" child through www.compassion.com.  You can sponsor a child in almost any country for about $38 a month.  When you sponsor a child, you'll receive your child's photo, personal story and a child sponsorship packet by mail in approximately 15 days.  As you exchange letters, send photos and offer encouragement in Jesus' name, your love will bring hope to your sponsored child that will last a lifetime.

The point is that the Proverbs 31 woman is a compassionate woman who loves on the poor and needy with concrete acts of mercy by her actions and deeds not just words and tongue. 

May God give you each much wisdom and discernment in how to best meet the needs of those with whom God puts you in contact whether it be the man on the side of the road with a sign or a  barefoot child in the rural jungle of Zimbabwe that you will never meet in person just through photos.  For Jesus said in Mathew 25:40 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

May we do it all for Jesus.

Proverbs 31...not the Perfect 31...but the Prayerful 31

Last Tuesday, I led and spoke to an amazing group of young women who eagerly seek to grow in the Lord.  I facilitate a class targeted toward women who are trying to raise a family by God's wisdom and His design.  Proverbs 31 serves as our inspiration and guide, and Scripture and Spirit steer our direction.  I shared something I didn't want to or plan on sharing... but something that I felt quite led to share.  I shared to help build a frame work for everything else that would be shared in the next coming weeks.  This is what I said...

Growing up, my family and I attended church...although sporadically, when we could and when it was convenient..always on Christmas and Easter, but never regularly and definitely not wholeheartedly.  Church was stressful for our family, on the way there and on the way back, and rarely enjoyable for me.  However, I want to stress that I was blessed with a mom and dad who loved me dearly and deeply and each other with great devotion, but I also experienced great hurts which took great and intense time to heal.  In fact, I remember very little of my childhood because of that... However, I do remember somethings.  I remember leading my brothers and sister in prayer...I was the eldest and I would lead them in prayer late at night after my parents went to bed and closed their doors... I remember wanting to read the Bible and starting in the book of Genesis which I figured was just all in Greek anyway... but what I especially recall are the many, many nights I cried myself to sleep.  And as I got older, I shared some of my hurts and pains with some of my trusted and closest friends and none with with my family but most of them I endured alone.  

So, as a result, I entered my young adulthood with much baggage, pain, and heartache.... including the first years of my marriage, although I married the love of my life...my high-school sweet heart, my very best friend, my closest advisor, and my greatest encourager.  

Generational sin had afflicted my family of origin, and I was not immune or protected from it... I confess anger, bitterness, and pride didn’t just creep into my marriage, it dominated it!  But by the mighty grace of God, his New Beginnings, and His tender mercies, I found healing.  Oh, I am far, far, far from perfect but now walking in victory.  How I ask myself?  By many ways...one of those ways...through the many servants He placed in my way to nurture, encourage, and to love on me in such a way that I never realized as a young girl.  I never saw godly parenting modeled for me, let alone knew what a godly marriage should look like.  Sadly, my poor, sweet, husband can attest to that.  Through ministries here at Rolling Hills such as Hearts at Home, Tapestries (which is a discipleship ministry), the many Bible studies I couldn’t get enough of, God flooded my life with examples of those who taught me how to parent and be the wife He wanted me to be.  You see, I was so hungry, I was desperate... which made me very teachable.   

And I will confess to you all, I still struggle and fail, but failure and struggle have been my greatest teachers which force me to repentance each and every single time.   

And another confession... I have had to roll up my sleeves and “work” at family.  Sadly, unlike some of my girlfriends and others I know, it doesn’t come naturally for me.  What does come naturally are those things of the flesh, not of the Holy Spirit’s.  Our family, like my family of origin, love each other deeply, but in my current, immediate family, we confess and profess our love openly to one another daily.  We have to... it’s what helps build family and our home.

A wise woman builds her home; a foolish one tears hers down by her own hands”  Proverbs 14:1

So as we began, I prayed that the message would inspire all the women there to create for themselves the home God wants them to build...however that might look...knowing each one is unique.  The Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman...But, just like north, I believe she is a direction...not a destination you will magically and miraculously eventually find yourself one day  but a direction we face at the start of each day... remembering His mercies are new each day.

And one of the things that has helped me become a better mom is letting go of being a "perfect" mom.  In doing so, I have been able to see my imperfections and take all of my imperfections, shortcomings, and failings to the Lord in prayer.  So, the Proverbs 31 woman is not the Perfect 31 woman.  She is the Prayerful 31 woman.

Will You Be That One? Our Time with Nick Vuijic

1, 2, 3, 4...he continued to count...5, 6, 7,..each number resonated with the step of his one “foot”...8, 9, 10...jump to the last with a thump...12!   Yes, 12...that’s how many kids teased him that day.  27 year old Nick Vujicic stood strong and “tall” today as he told of his story in front of about 400 kids most, if not all, taller than him.  He was only 6 years old at the time when they surrounded him.  These 12 kids saw one starkly different from themselves and their base reaction could only muster “teasing”.  I glanced down at my own sweet 6 year old Daniel and shuddered at the thought of him being teased by just one, let alone TWELVE.  You can imagine how someone like Nick...actually, no one can imagine because you have nothing to compare to.  You see, Nick...amazing Nick Vujicic was born without arms...no, medical reason for it...not even stumps where arms might have been.  Oh yeah, Nick was also born without feet...and without the calves that go to feet, nor thighs.  In fact, he was born without both legs but was blessed with half of what may have been his foot...had he been born with one.  And, there Nick stood...strong and “tall” with the might of only his torso to brace himself and the might of HIS strength.  Oh, yes, if you didn’t know Nick before, after his beautiful message, you would have known without a doubt, how he braced himself upon the strength of...whose might?  Oh, only His Creator, Elohim...Mighty God, El Elyon!

Beautiful Nick Vujicic spoke truth with triumph to a room full of tweens and teens.  I’m not sure what they expected but even after seeing him numerous times on You Tube videos and even a short film, I certainly didn’t expect to hear nor feel what I experienced today.

Kids and I arrived running behind the stroller and me crying out, “Hurry up, we’re late”  We were actually 35 minutes early, but I guess I’m always calling out that cadence out of habit.  This time was special though.  I don’t know if it was out of habit or just stemmed from sheer excitement and wanting good seats.  But even in the anticipation of what we were about to hear and who we were about to meet, I gathered the kids to the side before we entered the doors...to pray.  I prayed as I pray before any “big deal” that God might bless our encounter...that God’s voice would be heard through the speaker...that the speaker would voice that which God’s prompts...and that hearts would be stirred.  But this time I prayed for sweet Nick and that God would bless him with a wife...I have no idea where that came from.  It just came.  That God would bless him with a wife and with a marriage that would reflect and bless God back.  

Relaxed and poised, Nick broke the ice with  stories of his most hilarious pranks.  I caught glimpses of my children’s smiles and delight.  Nick, my kind of guy, loves a good prank...no, I didn’t say teasing or coarse joking.  There’s a difference...more on this later.  One little kid shocked at the sight of Nick, remarked to him, “Oh, man, what happened to you?”  In a sly, scratchy, screetchy voice, Nick squeeked, “Cigarettes, cigarettes”  The kid shocked, probably never touched a cigarette ever.  

Bored and in search of good laugh, Nick convinced some of his friends to hide him in the overhead baggage compartment during a flight.  You can imagine the shock on the passenger’s face when he discovered half a human tucked within baggage.

Ok, joking aside...Nick then got a bit serious and his countenance changed.  You remember the teasing on the playground...the TWELVE.  Fast forward, Nick turns 10 years old.  Faced with despair and depression, Nick sought to commit suicide.  He was 10 years old.  Teasing...there is no place for that in God’s kingdom.  I love the way Nick spoke to this and how he shared this with the tweens and the teens in a language they understood and a visual they could see.  How often does this happen in school, on the playground, or anywhere there is flesh....or two or more are gathered?

Yes, where two or more gathered...consider it yet instead in HIS name...for where two or more, there HE is.  Nick shared an alternative to teasing.  Consider encouragement.  That day when the TWELVE gathered around, Nick left with head hung low and longing to never see another...again...until he saw a young friend from across the school yard.  She ran to him and delighted, “My Nick, you look good today!”  You know what that One remark did...it captured his attention...spoke courage into the courageless...and is reflected back over and over again when he speaks as an example of what ONE can inspire.

Will you be that ONE to inspire?  Nick is...and he doesn’t have the two arms you have...the two legs you have... That ONE broke down the TWELVE.  And today, Nick at 27 years old, has been to over 35 countries (Nick, if I have that number off, forgive me)...point is...all over the world...to speak to thousands over tens of thousands of people...across  races, nations, and customs. 

That you will be that ONE, you must lean on the ONE...God Himself.  And then Nick called for those who wanted to give their lives to the ONE and make a difference?  A few stood up, then a few more...then they came up in hordes and droves.  They filled the spaces down the center aisle.  I stepped outside to watch my squiggily, wiggily toddler and was amazed at all these young people willing to give their lives when they had the “rest of their lives”.  Then, did I see right?...in the back, down the center aisle...there he was...knees to the floor and head bowed in reverence...my son, Jeremy.

Will you be that ONE?  Thank you Nick Vujicic for being One to speak into the lives of many, for allowing God to voice through your mouth, for being an instrument greatly used of HIM.  He closed with encouragement and somewhere in there shared a hope that God might bless him with a wife.  Oh yes, Nick that God might bless you with a wife...to love and to hold...not with arms but with heart...as you do your God!

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and all your strength.”   Mark 12:30

Life without limbs but not without limits.  http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

Bible and Me

Half past six in the dawn of the day, sweet husband packed up our brood of little ones and not so little ones and piled them generously into the Suburban yesterday morning.  Off they went, to walk the mall with the Grands...this time with Grandpapa and Grandmaman.  Couldn’t believe so early, bright eyed, cheerful spirits, and without complaint or grumble.  Still in my pj’s, I kissed them off and snuggled back into my "Read."

Imagine…Bible and me…and silence and solitude…quiet and calm.  I had forgotten the smell and taste of it, but remembered how much I loved it… a luxury enjoyed sparingly…solitude.

Crash, bump, thump… “Mama, we’re home!!”  Broken silence… the brood was back.

Husband kissed me tenderly on the forehead, squeezed next to me, and sweetly asked, “Did you miss us?”

Is it bad I responded “It wasn’t long enough.”…and kissed him tenderly on the forehead.

To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl

Why I will not recommend this book?

Although the authors love God and espouse only that which follows God’s Word, they add much that is manufactured through their own counsel and experience and that goes beyond what God says.  God commands that we do not add or subtract from His Word. (Deuteronomy 4:2)

Michael advises parents to spank on the legs.  (p. 62)   Although the Bible does not specify body part to be spanked, I myself, after prayerful reflection, believe that a child’s bottom is reserved for this type of discipline.  The spirit of the spanking is effectively conveyed in spanking the child’s bottom at the same time leaving pain that will smart temporarily and most likely not bruise.

            Michael Pearl also shares an example of disciplining a child but one that is not his.  He explained of a time that he and his wife, Debi, were watching children of other families.  (p. 68)   Debi employed spanking on one of the young boys for what she felt was defiance (not playing with a specific toy when instructed).  The scenario rang with a spirit of  “lording over another”, in this case, Debi “lording” over the child.  No where in the Bible does it encourage, instruct, or command others to discipline children other than their own.

Each time I read part of the book and put it down to tend to my own children, I felt a graceless spirit emerge.  My spirit would move to a hardened place that sought to uphold only rules, laws, and legalism with no concern for my children’s heart or character.  I felt the book throughout lacked grace in its teaching and even admitted that its intention and purpose was solely training and discipline and not character building.  (p. 5)  The two are not exclusive of each other and training with one (discipline) and not the other (character) is incomplete and rendered ineffective.

Michael Pearl also advises that if your child were “falsely accused and you have doubts about his guilt, you should determine that he has been falsely accused, tell him, and then quietly drop the matter.  Don’t let him see your defensiveness on his behalf.” (p. 85)  Something rings horribly wrong and ungodly, when you don’t uphold righteousness, whether for your child or another or anyone for that matter.  You are God’s ambassador and you must uphold righteousness.  “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves”  Proverbs 31… this may be even more applicable for children and especially those in your flock.  Allow your children to see that you seek truth in all things indiscriminately, including your own children!

Michael Pearl also encourages parents to spank at infancy. (pp. 84, 91) I do NOT know of anywhere in the Bible the Lord would command spanking at infancy.  Where spanking is spoken of, it references a child, NOT an infant.  I would NOT recommend spanking an infant for spanking is effective to the extent that a child understands the purpose and goal of training, discipline, and character.  A baby obviously, has NO understanding of such things yet.  In my understanding of God’s Word, spanking an infant goes beyond his Word.

The Pearls tactics in disciplining and training their children are questionable and bordering unethical.  The example of how Pearl taught his children to not play close to the water is one that should never be practiced by anyone.  In his attempt to teach his daughter, who was only 7 months old at the time, to keep away from the pond, Pearl allowed her to near the pond.   When she was close enough, he pushed her in… intentionally.  He “just nudged her with his foot.” (p. 70) He shares that even his wife “took several hours to begin breathing normally” after the event, probably from the shock of the training.  Although Pearl concludes that this illustration is not meant to be mimicked but to help describe the kind of training they practice, this training seems abusive and outrageous.

To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl is a complete distortion of Scripture and is nothing short of abusive, “lording over” children, and ungodly.  Their faith and trust in God of the Bible is not in question, but their practice is.  And as teachers, such as the Pearls, they are under greater scrutiny and “judged more strictly”. (James 3:1)  This book should not be in publication or circulation for the many reasons mentioned.

                            

Where time stands still

To punctuate the Memorial Day weekend with something memorable, Team Lenc spent time in a place where time actually stands still… Skate World Hillsboro!  As certain as the breath we breathe, is the passing of time.  But not so here where retro colors, neon signs, and shag carpeting… on floor and walls are flourishing all except the passage of time.  Yes, the food stand still serves nasty, cheesy nachos, you know the kind that drips from a rusty spicket.  Carnival food such as corndogs and cardboard pepperoni pizza are the featured menu with ropes of red licorce , barrels of barforama beef jerkey, and putrid pails of popcorn as sides.  Obviously, the menu was not the major attraction.

Neon and black lights glared the back of the rink and 80’s music blared through out.  And I wouldn’t be surprised if the soundtracks were cassette tapes and records… my children have never heard of such things.

My neighbor told me it was like riding a bike… where riding a bike is like, well, riding a bike.   Biking - you just do.  Skating…not so much.  The boys spent the first hour more on the floor than standing upright.  Jean-Marc and I inched alongside Samuel and Daniel, and Jeremy skoot-hobbled alone nearby.  Gabriel played gleefully with the Grands (Grandpa and Grandma) without skates, of coarse.  And, I silently wondered if my grand plan wasn’t as grand after all.  But after the first hour, I realized something noble about my boys.  After every fall, they would scramble back up, brush themselves off, and with an extra measure of resolve, push forward.  They never once cried or complained.  I didn’t say they weren’t frustrated because they were.  I certainly would be, considering the amount of time they spent wiping the floor with their bums.  But they were determined.  Ahh… perseverance!

And, into the second hour (couldn’t believe we lasted that long) before the very last song of the night, the MC makes an astonishing announcement.  “This is dedicated to Jenni for 25 years of memories.”   I smiled at husband, and he gently held my hand… just like he did many decades ago.  We left the boys to hobble on their own, and together Jean-Marc and I attempted to recapture our youth.  I even blushed again, just as I did back then.  Never mind the song he dedicated…”I’m too sexy …on the catwalk” It was still sweet.